Pfffffffft aaaaahhhhh
Eyes: OOOH OMG FUN THING!! I WANNA GO I NEED SOMEONE TO GO WITH!!
Heart: Goooo ask ask go go go!! It'll be fun you'll love it! Hehehehe
Brain: No Lisa, no.
Brain wins.
Eyes: OOOH OMG FUN THING!! I WANNA GO I NEED SOMEONE TO GO WITH!!
I question my abrupt changes in emotions.
Why does this always happen to me.
I feel like I'm immersed in deep shit most of the time. Alright, all the time. For some awkward reason out there, I refuse to do work... When I do I skim through it, giving as much effort needed simply just to complete the assignment. I don't take pride in my work; I'm getting lazier by the day. Maybe my mom was right to scold me. To say those... stuff. Maybe my performance has deteriorated. Nowadays I get home, slack around on my mac, watch some tv, eat my dinner and subsequently, without fail, fall asleep on my couch. I don't mean to, but my brain shuts down without my consent. Then I get thrashed up by my mom afterwards. The feeling really sucks, I wanna go back to the old me. The hardworking me. I think this is mostly due to my change in attitude towards my studies...
I know you'd think I've gone crazee but
I guess I can blame it all on stress.
Ahhh I haven't felt this way in... kinda long time. It's always this sinking feeling that stays with me, even my sleep-mood-resetter can't cure. It's where I've to fake a smile everywhere I go, but deep inside I'm dying and tearing up, into smithereens.
I know I'm plunging myself into deep shit. Getting deeper each day. But I can't get myself out; I can't bring myself to. I mean when I'm there, I think all's well and fine, I'm happy when I'm there. I'll think that all these talking and such would only last a moment, then I'll do my work, but it never happens. I get distracted so easily, my mind runs far away over the ocean over the deep blue sea, to you. A thousand miles away from my priorities as a student. But when I'm not, I just feel that this isn't gonna bring me any good... Everyday I wake up and think of all the work undone. I think of how far this is going and how it has to stop. Then so at that point in time you approach me, and all I do is to try to push you away. And then again, I'll hurt you. Truth be told I really don't know what to do. I can already feel myself sliding faster and faster away from my work and priorities, and I know this isn't good :/