Emo one here

Ahhh I haven't felt this way in... kinda long time. It's always this sinking feeling that stays with me, even my sleep-mood-resetter can't cure. It's where I've to fake a smile everywhere I go, but deep inside I'm dying and tearing up, into smithereens.

For the hundredth time, I don't wanna lose you. I don't want you to leave me. You're an awesome friend, I've grown attached to you, but it can't work out; that far.

I know it's hard to wait, it's hard to wait and pretend that there's nothing at the same time. But if you can't do it then I really don't know what to do.

I'm sorry I get my feelings mixed up so easily. I'm sorry I've let you down. I'm sorry it has to come to this. Maybe telling you what I'm feeling or what I felt was a bad idea. If only we could, not talk so much, talk only when we're free or something. I'll gladly accept this wonderful friendship. But that's not the case and I'm positive this is going down a bad route... This isn't going well, and so I'm trying to change the route. Sadly it's a very wrong move and instead am pushing it down a route even worse than before.

Please understand. But if you don't see it to be worth, then... all I've to say is,

I'm sorry.


If you think you can handle it, if you think that you're ready for this, to maintain a simple friendship for 4years, please come talk to me. I'll be waiting for you.
P.S.: Please don't control it. If you wanna talk to me, go ahead. My arms are open wide.

I treasure the times we shared. Haha I really do. I hope you feel the same.