99th post! Hohohoho

I know I'm plunging myself into deep shit. Getting deeper each day. But I can't get myself out; I can't bring myself to. I mean when I'm there, I think all's well and fine, I'm happy when I'm there. I'll think that all these talking and such would only last a moment, then I'll do my work, but it never happens. I get distracted so easily, my mind runs far away over the ocean over the deep blue sea, to you. A thousand miles away from my priorities as a student. But when I'm not, I just feel that this isn't gonna bring me any good... Everyday I wake up and think of all the work undone. I think of how far this is going and how it has to stop. Then so at that point in time you approach me, and all I do is to try to push you away. And then again, I'll hurt you. Truth be told I really don't know what to do. I can already feel myself sliding faster and faster away from my work and priorities, and I know this isn't good :/
I just want it to pause and not go any further, but I don't know how to do it without hurting you, I still want you by my side but not... going that far.

I mean, I don't know how it's like to like someone. Does liking someone mean not wanting him/her to disappear from your life? But at the same time feeling okay when he/she's not talking to you? Or sometimes even relieved so that you can do your work and throw away those rocks weighing you down? (Cause rocks get constantly thrown on me everyday, I used to deal with them well but now I'm under this avalanche; I wanna get out!!) Does liking someone mean to get distracted/ scared/ worried when he/she's almost out of your life and you'll just plunge in recklessly to salvage him/her?

Or are these just examples proving that I'm just liking the person, perhaps as a brother or a really really good friend?

I really don't know, but I'm sticking with you being a brother. I don't wanna lose you, I just want you to treat me the same.

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I actually think of you most of the time. I can't help it, I mean I don't know why. I wonder when you'll be back, and in the mean time I can do my work nicely. I'm not sad, neither am I hurt, I just want you back here with me. But the thing is, I can't picture myself with you... (yet?)
Talking to you is like talking to someone I've known for quite long, maybe 2years or something, but hold and behold, I've only known you for 2 months. Though I can feel that our friendship will last longer than that, it's just fascinating how I feel this way :)

I keep thinking today's Sunday. Hais me and my screwed up body clock :( I feel as if I went to Singapore Quarry the day before haha.

I LOVE MY IPOD TOUCH IT CAME ON THURSDAY, 15TH JULY 2010! <3
Flooding it with songs now. And mind you, they're all from albums. I'm a good law-abiding girl :)