I never used to have this feeling.

I feel like I'm immersed in deep shit most of the time. Alright, all the time. For some awkward reason out there, I refuse to do work... When I do I skim through it, giving as much effort needed simply just to complete the assignment. I don't take pride in my work; I'm getting lazier by the day. Maybe my mom was right to scold me. To say those... stuff. Maybe my performance has deteriorated. Nowadays I get home, slack around on my mac, watch some tv, eat my dinner and subsequently, without fail, fall asleep on my couch. I don't mean to, but my brain shuts down without my consent. Then I get thrashed up by my mom afterwards. The feeling really sucks, I wanna go back to the old me. The hardworking me. I think this is mostly due to my change in attitude towards my studies...

I used to be able to kope with school work, despite the little setbacks here and there. But now it's just totally different. The jump from sec 2 to sec 3 is too great for me to handle. I'm not one who can handle stress/failure easily... I think I got greatly affected by my mid-term grades, even though I thought I've already mentally prepared myself in the December holidays.

I used to think that studies were important, that anything was possible as long as you try your best and work towards your goal. But now, my simple wish is to float by sec 3, then work my ass off in sec 4. I've lost interest in school, in my grades and I'm slowly falling behind.

Bad move.

I skipped school today. But I had my reasons I guess.
1. STC camp over the weekend totally drained my energy and deprived me of the sleep I needed so badly. I'm guessing my sleep debt's over 20hours or something. (Yeah there's such thing as a sleep debt, go google it >D)
2. I've tons of work to finish, TONS of revision to do and most importantly my last PT (YES IT'S THE LAST WOOHOOOO) to complete... by next week.
3. There's some emergency evacuation drill thing today from 9.30am to 3.30pm and hell no am I going through that... It's just crap waking up at 5.30am to run around aimlessly in school to run away from some fire that isn't even happening. Hahaha I know it's for the greater good, but I really have no more energy left. :(

Despite my attempt to finish my work in these hours that I supposedly should've had fire drill, I'm nothing near done. All I've done is go through 'Coordinate Geometry' and finish my maths assignment. Great, 1 job done, thousands more to go.

I've realised this mac has NO GOOD TO ME NO GOOD NO GOOOOOOOOD!! It should perish from the surface of the Earth and burn in hellllll burnnnnn.... And so... I've told my mom that I would stay back in school on some days to finish my work before coming home. So as to prevent me from slouching on the (oh so comfortable) couch; facebooking; watching tv. And instead study in a conducive environment. I swear studying in school's 101 times better than studying in my living room (there's my TV right smack infront of me, my couch which possesses this magical force of gravity which draws only me to it, and stacks of blank paper for me to draw on) or my kitchen (the table's swarmed with my unfiled, unorganized worksheets, plus biscuits sweets foods ohso delicioussss foods scattered everywhere AND my fridge on my right... ouch ahhaaha. Though I must say the trip to the toilet is superr convenient ;D)

Perhaps this is why my friend gets to score such high marks; she stays back almost everyday. Whenever I'm leaving I'll see her on her mac, but who knows what she does when she's alone >D... AND SO I'M ACCOMPANYING HER YEAHH

But if she's not there then... Being alone in the classroom isn't a problem either. Solitude is awesome (Y)

I hope I'll stick to my superfragilisticexpialidocious idea up there ;D And hopefully catch up in class.

OH and one more thing, I've been really tired in class these few days and minimum information is being sucked in, so I'm aiming to sleep much earlier too. Latest 12am ;)
And SOMEONEEE should do the same too. The golden period of rest is from 10pm to 2am! Remember! The golden perioddddd. And I know what you're thinking, no there's no such thing as the silver nor the bronze period.

Summary thus far:
1. Stay back in school to finish up undone work instead of slacking around at home doing absolutely... interesting stuff.
2. Sleep at latest 12am so as to absorb valuable information during classes.

Okay sorry if I'm abit wols but I just realised sec 3 is actually a very important year :'(


I promise myself not to get too worked up/ stressed up/ affected by my failures (time and again). Like what I told my beloved Yuannie, "if you've worked very hard once but yet you fail, try again cause one day you're sure to succeed. Jiayou <3!">D

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